WHERE IS HE??

I know I know. I didn't come back right away because I wanted some time to pass to make sure the moment wasn't fleeting. Here's the rest of the story: Tony and I hung out at my place on Saturday instead of Sunday. He came over to my place since he was taking his aunt's car for the night. I was still in awe the same as the first time he took my hand. That man is a gorgeous specimen. He said he was hungry so I cooked!!  We sat and talked for a couple of hours and he gave me a nice long hug at the end of his visit. And that's the last time I seen him. Have you ever been so  into a person that you just never want to be apart? That's how I felt. I felt cheated. I felt robbed. I wanted more. But Tony won't cooperate. Yes we talk and text, but its always something going on in his life to distract him from being a part of mine. He works two jobs and I work full time, 50 hours a week, plus school, so our schedule's are always clashing. Plus here's the downer: He started talking about sex. Yeah in my head I'm thinking its a fuggin wrap cause that's probably all he wants. But my heart wants love and loneliness wants a warm body in my bed next to me every night. But you know what? I will keep hope alive. Even if love doesn't come in the form of Tony, it will come. I'll play things cool and keep focus on the things that really matter to me at this point. And as for Reggie: Pam told me she let him know what was good and it has been really awkward going next door. I went over one night and he acted as if I didn't exist. It's cool. You guys gave me the heads up and I appreciate all of the wisdom everyone has contributed to my post. So I'll be back soon to let you guys know what is new in my life. CIAO

Dilemma

What's up world?? I'm back to update everyone of my current life situation. So here's the story: I live next door to the coolest family on the planet. They treat me like one of their own. Feed me whenever I come over and stuff like that. Well anyway its a family of four. I'm good friends with the lady named Pam, her Husband Herm, her son Kye, and Herm's son Reggie. Back in May, Herm had an idea to hook me and Reg up. Reg was overseas in Germany at the time so Herm gave him my email address. We chopped it up and lost contact. Well Reg left his job in Germany and moved in with Pam and Herm. So we re connect and chop it up from there, and I feel nothing. I mean nothing. My heart doesn't flutter when I see him, my stomach doesn't get butterflies. So I tell myself to give it some time and maybe I will start to catch feelings for him. There's nothing wrong with Reg at all. He is older (37 on the 2nd of this month) has a son, sweet, charming, smart, etc. Oh and he resembles Donnell Jones but with dimples. But I feel nothing!! I'm so frustrated cause he is exactly what i need in my life for a potential BF. So here's where the plot thickens.... A week and a half ago I was next door chilling with them when I hear Pam talking on the phone. She is telling the person on the phone to park in the driveway and come up. I have some pretty good intution (I get it from my mother) and something is telling me "Watch this be some fine ass nigga that comes in" and damnit if I wasn't on point with that crap!! So in comes this tall, gorgeous, redbone (I am so partial to light skinned men!) with long pretty hair and a motorcycle jacket. If I wasn't sitting already I would've passed out!! And Pam says oh-so-nonchalantly "Oh Jasmine this is Tony, my nephew" and I'm thinking "This heffa's been holding out!!". So we shake hands and he holds my hand a little too long! I'm feeling shortness of breath and ish and try not to freak. I was so flabergasted that I didn't even remember his name! LOL So by this time it's getting real late so I excuse myself and go home. Days pass and all I can think about is this tall gorgeous man with the oriental eyes. Beautiful. And now I'm thinking I need to confess that I have nothing for Reggie cause everything I should be feeling for Reg I'm feeling for Tony! And not only that I don't want to do some sneaky coniving stuff behind anyones back (especially since they're family!!).  This situation is burning a whole in my brain at this point. All I could think about is Tony. I don't want things to be awkward with me and Reggie cause I like going next door and hanging out and grubbing. So I start to text Pam. I tell her the whole truth and nothing but. And to my surprise, she isn't mad!! In fact she talks to Tony and gives me his number!!! I felt so tingly inside and crap! She told me that Reggie is really only lookin for sex only :-( and I thought so when he started to direct every damn convo towards having sex. I guess she feels Tony is more my speed anyway. So I text Tony (cause I worked the night shift and can't be on the phone) and we text each other the whole night!! We exchanged pics and we plan on seeing each other tomorrow!! But the issue is how can I let Reggie know that me and his cousin are now chopping it up? And how can I do it with out feeling awkward and uncomfortable?  Bloggers, do you have any advice or suggestions??